


Pinot Noir

by Eightpoundsofhair



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, I think?, holiday party, i was trying something im sorry, rated teen for copious cursing, still feel weird everytime i use that tag, this is the worst set of tags i have ever done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eightpoundsofhair/pseuds/Eightpoundsofhair
Summary: She was standing there across the room with a stupid smile on her face, big and dumb and far too happy for someone who worked retail during the holiday season. All while standing there with the last bottle of Pinot Noir in her hands ten minutes before closing. What a bitch.
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Pinot Noir

**Author's Note:**

> Yelena is Yellow Diamond I just simply do not have it in me to name a character 'Yellow' in a human au

She was standing there across the room with a stupid smile on her face, big and dumb and far too happy for someone who worked retail during the holiday season. All while standing there with the last bottle of  Pinot Noir  in her hands ten minutes before closing. She didn’t even work here. She had come from the other store across the street, the very one Lapis had just come from only to find it void of anything useful. She had smiled at Lapis as she left there, a polite thank you on her lips as Lapis exited. And yet here she was now, hardly fifteen minutes later, standing and smiling by  _ this  _ door now, laughing with some other stupidly joyous worker of this store holding that goddamned bottle gently in her hands. 

What a bitch. 

The way she laughed made Lapis’s insides boil, now was not the time for laughing and smiling like that; it was ten minutes before closing and she had the last bottle of wine in the whole fucking town. 

Lapis hated her. 

She left in a fury, making a scene as she stomped out without buying anything, sending a heated glare her way, only just briefly catching those stupidly green eyes along the way. Bitch. 

She slammed the car door as she got into it, sending another glare into the store for that stupid, blonde bitch with the last goddamn bottle of wine before driving away. 

She was fucked. 

**

It was her. Lapis couldn’t believe her horrible misfortune. 

Standing there, just as she had only a few hours earlier, laughing with her head tossed back, loud and overblown, at the holiday party. She had pulled some of her hair back since Lapis had last seen her, leaving half of it in a bun atop her head, the rest of it curled and bouncy around her face. She had painted her eyelids an obnoxious shade of green, earthy in tone despite being composed of pure glitter. All in the worst fucking Christmas sweater Lapis had ever seen. 

But despite what Lapis had felt so strongly about only hours before, the hatred and desire to scream at her, now all she could feel was the hot rush of panic. She ducked behind the woman to her left, ignoring the flustered way she stuttered in response. 

“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath. 

**

How was Lapis supposed to know she had been invited? Clearly she didn’t work here, not like the rest of them, so why should she have known? 

It was gonna be okay. She had decided it abruptly, pushing past the tall, blundering blonde whom she had used as her shield, rushing to hide instead in a corner behind a poorly decorated tree or at least find the drinks, now all too aware of why the both of them would be after the same bottle. It was the only one Lapis’s vapid and needlessly rude boss would drink.

She pushed past the thought at once, however. There was no use in thinking about it; all she needed to do now was hide from her until it was late enough that she could leave. She would sit and wait, ducked out of view, until she could stealthily give her boss the poorly thought out and obviously second hand sweater she had posed as a runner up gift and then get the hell out. It would take an hour tops. Maybe half of one if she was lucky. 

She could do it. It would be easy. 

Unfortunately Lapis was not that lucky. Turning on her heels after pouring herself a generous glass of wine, different kind, Yelena was not known for her generosity of her prized things, she found herself face to face with  _ her _ . Those miserable green eyes shining brightly just feet from her own face.

Lapis jumped back with a startled little cry of “Fuck!”

**

The girl had been less startled than Lapis would have expected, had merely giggled at the shout, and pulled Lapis away from the crowds of eyes which had begun to settle on them. 

Lapis hated the touch of her hand on her skin, warm and far too gentle for someone pulling her away into a corner, hated the look of the smile on her face, far too cheery for someone who had just been shouted at, but, caught off guard and embarrassed by the stares, found herself following. That didn’t stop her from spitting back a whispered rebuttal, however. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

The girl only laughed again, bouncy and light like some bullshit hallmark movie character, “I thought you might wanna dodge Yelena before she realized it was you cursing at me,”

Lapis opened her mouth to snarl at her again but found herself cut off by the girl’s abrupt stop. She turned on her heels so sharply Lapis nearly bumped into her, although she did not seem to notice; instead moving to do no more than smile pleasantly up at Lapis. The string lights which had been hung in the tucked away corner she had picked washed her in a pale shade of green, nauseating in hue and drawing far too much attention to the glitter which painted her eyelids, a near matching shade. 

“Do I know you?” She asked Lapis sweetly. 

Lapis found all she could do was cock and eyebrow in baffled response, “Excuse me?” she replied. 

“You look familiar,” the girl smiled back, consistent and pleasant as ever. 

A hot flash of panic raced down Lapis’s spine.

She opened her mouth to say no, argue, brush it off, come up with an excuse, but before she could the girl’s eyes lit up and she let out a prolonged ‘oh’ of recognition. 

Lapis groaned, “Fuck,”

**

The girl took surprisingly well to recognizing Lapis as the girl who had, for seemingly no reason, sent her a particularly heated glare from across the local grocery store. Lapis had expected anger, maybe tears from someone like her, but instead all she did was laugh. 

“I wanted to ask you what you were so upset about but you rushed out so fast,” she smiled, looking up at Lapis expectantly.

Lapis waited a beat but when the girl said no more she scoffed, loathing to feel herself flushing as she spoke, “It was nothing,”

The girl laughed, the sound, again, so light and bouncy that it made Lapis want to gag, “If you say so, angry stranger,”

Lapis rolled her eyes and turned to walk away, done with this girl and her asinine way of walking through life but the girl gave a genuine little cry of, ‘Wait!’. Lapis, despite her best interests, obliged. 

“What?”

“What’s your name?” she smiled cheerily. 

Lapis cocked an eyebrow, “What?”

The girl smiled brighter, “Your name? I’m Peridot,”

Lapis huffed a heavy breath, anger rolling off of her mind even when she willed it not too. 

“Lapis,” she muttered. 

“Lapis,” the girl, Peridot, echoed, smile softening, if only slightly, “Do you work here?”

Lapis huffed a breath, bitter at herself for having wasted her out, but found herself speaking anyway, “Yeah,” she replied lowly, “For three years,”

“Oh wow!” Peridot exclaimed, eyes widening genuinely, “That’s amazing,

Lapis only rolled her eyes, “I guess. I’m getting pretty tired of it. What about you? I saw you working at the grocery on Pace, what’re you doing here?”

Peridot smiled lightly, with a gentle laugh, “I get it,” she replied, “I’m a bit sick of the grocery myself. But uh,” she continued, waving a hand loosely in front of her face, “Yelena is my mom so I always have to come to these things,”

Lapis felt her eyes widening. Her heart thudding in her chest, “You mean like-“

Peridot giggled, “The one who owns the company? Yes,”

Lapis felt her heart drop into her shoes, “Fuck,”

**

Lapis was having shit luck.

First the  Pinot Noir was gone from the grocery and then it was gone at the next grocery too. It had been the only gift Lapis had been able to think of, the only thing Lapis had ever heard Yelena speak positively towards. And maybe she shouldn’t have waited until the last day to get it but that didn’t matter then; the mistake had already been made and all that mattered was that it was gone. Although it got worse. Of course as she was leaving, panicked and knowing she would be late if she tried any other stores, she had seen someone else with a bottle. Then she sent her some pointed looks. And then she was there, here, at the same goddamned company holiday party. And then she was talking to her. And now it turns out she’s her boss's daughter and now all the terrible things she had done, the curses she had spoken and cruel looks she had given, were far more incriminating than they would have already been otherwise. 

Peridot had thankfully not seemed to care. She shrugged it all off with a laugh and smiled her dismissal, leading Lapis into story after story after story like she hadn’t done things she could easily get her fired for. She was so blas é about it, in fact, that Lapis almost didn't believe her. But she decided it was safer to trust her than not.

Needles to say it had left her in a tough spot. 

Peridot was okay with Lapis for now, didn’t mind her general attitude and loose filter as it stood, but what would she think if she walked away? What would she do if Lapis left her here alone? Lapis was sure all of _this_ , the smiles and pleasantries, were only temporary; if she was anything like her mother the second Lapis did something she didn’t like it would be all up and arms and, Lapis was sure, she would be going to her mother. And while Lapis wanted nothing more than to leave her for dust she couldn’t risk it. She hated the job more than she could express but at the end of the day it was all she had. God knows she had tried to leave before. 

So, despite Lapis’s wishes for the evening, she found herself sitting in a corner with her, tucked away on an overly posh, and, Lapis had been sure before Peridot had sat upon it, purely decorative ottoman. Two glasses of wine sat between them, definitively not  Pinot Noir , mutually untouched, adjacent a little tray of cookies which Peridot had been much more liberal in her approach of. 

She was speaking easily, talking herself in circles, even when Lapis found herself too panicked, or else too disinterested, confused, or annoyed to respond. Peridot didn’t seem to notice. 

She told stories which flowed through one another with little or no reason; a story on her graduate school advisor’s pet dog somehow leading into her favorite tree on the southeast side of town. Lapis gave up on trying to follow about eight tangents in. Smiling and nodding along seemed to be providing enough of a basis for Peridot to work off of anyways. 

But Lapis was having shit luck. 

Mid-story, at least Lapis could only assume based off of the cadence of Peridot’s voice, Peridot starkly cut herself off. Lapis found herself frazzled to wake up, desperately searching for even a single word she could remember from the last few sentences, only to find herself met with a gentle little smile. 

“What about you?” Peridot asked sincerely. 

Lapis gave her a wide mouthed stare, “Sorry?”

Peridot giggled, charming and soft and, again, too perfect to be tolerable, and flushed a light shade of pink. Lapis found herself flushing at the sudden display, afraid terribly of what she had managed to miss.

“Sorry,” Peridot replied, voice lowered slightly although still just as round, “I can get a little ahead of myself. Did you go to school in town?”

Lapis shook her head loosely, hating how much the blush was spreading, “Ohio,” she muttered lamely. 

Peridot smiled again, leaning forward to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Lapis’s ear, “I’ve never been,” she smiled wistfully, leaning back into her spot to leave Lapis staring dumbstruck, “Did you like it?”

“Ah?” Lapis replied coherently. 

Fuck. 

**

Lapis was glad that, as of now, Peridot’s stray touch, faint flush, was all that was of that curious little moment. It seemed that as soon as it had happened it had already stopped, Lapis leading them away as she flusteredly rambled about her distaste of her home state and her unanticipated distaste of here as well. And as Peridot followed, responding with a spare anecdote which Lapis could properly comprehend, the moment passed entirely. Lapis’s cheeks cooled. 

Although, while she was glad, she wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about the new conversation she had fumbled (accidentally flirted?) her way into. 

It wasn’t that it was bad. Nor was it that Lapis was worried that Peridot was scheming something the whole time. It wasn’t even that Peridot’s mom, Lapis’s boss, briefly interrupted to tentatively say hi to the collective two of them (although Lapis did thoroughly despise that moment). It was that it was good. 

Somehow Peridot has moved, mostly anyway, out of the unconnected, confusingly worded stories. Instead she bounced around comprehensively, told jokes that, while a bit gentle for Lapis’s usual tastes, were actually rather fun. And somehow Lapis found herself involved in the conversation. Although that didn’t feel like the right word. She wasn’t involved; she was simply having. 

As it stood Peridot was rolling in laughter, her head tossed back, allowing the glitter on her eyelids, and sheerer, Lapis was now noticing, on her cheeks too, to catch the light. Her hair tumbled back with the movement of her head, swooshing and bouncing along and just teasing to touch the tops of her shoulders. It would have been pretty if not for that godforsaken sweater. Lapis decided to swiftly move past the thought of her appearance altogether. 

“And you like that your advisor shoves off her lower level classes to you?” She asked with a cocked eyebrow, letting the sway of conversation, some story somehow supposed to explain why Peridot enjoyed teaching beginners level caucus while a student herself, ease away whatever it was that had just caught her attention. 

Peridot only laughed, sweeter and less full bodied this time, with a gentle smile and a nod, “Yeah! It’s fun, if tedious,”

Lapis hummed, “Well I can’t say I was ever very good at math or,” she rolled a wrist in the air, avoiding Peridot’s eyes for a reason she would not let herself discern, “appreciative of my TAs but I’m sure you make it a bit easier,”

Peridot went pink, Lapis scolded herself for speaking, scolded herself more for noticing, “Thank you,” she shyly spoke, although as the words fell out, gentle and tentative, her smile shifted. She smirked, bold and flushed and  _ terrible _ , it made Lapis’s stomach roll in an unpleasantly delicious way, “Although you haven’t ever seen me in class. How are you to know?”

Lapis herself flushed and she found her eyes widening despite herself, “I,” she stammered, the sudden and unexpected shift in tone leading her to stutter, only making her embarrassment, her flush, ultimately worse, “I just assumed,”

Peridot laughed, her smirk dropped with a slightly more intense pinking of her cheeks, “Sorry,” she responded, the word low and sweet and far too cute. Lapis  _ loathed  _ it, “I was just teasing. But I appreciate it anyway; I’m sure my students would hardly agree. I tend to get on,” she paused, laughing loosely, “tangents,”

Lapis sighed, glad at least, as Peridot’s face softened and her laugh returned to its normal pitch, that it was over, and ran a hand through her hair, trying to brush away with the flyaways her flushing cheeks, “I’ve noticed,” she replied, her voice falling out low despite herself.

And as Peridot laughed, the moment fully and undeniably passed, Lapis felt herself releasing a sigh of relief. Although the way her chest still fluttered was something that was hard to ignore.

Lapis has to resist the groan rolling of her tongue at the sensation, playing it off with a toss back of her head and a low, rumbled laugh, “Fuck,” she mumbled under her breath.

She realized all too late how sensual a combination that word made to her laugh and movement. 

Fuck, indeed. 

**

It kept happening. 

For fucks sake it kept happening. 

Everything was normal between them. They were talking and laughing and getting to know each other, maybe a little more than Lapis would ever typically do with anyone at one of these holiday parties, but normal all the same. They got to know each other lazily, while sneaking cookies from the snacks table and avoiding Lapis’s coworkers. It was always normal, this unimportant little evening, their uninvolved little conversation, until suddenly Lapis was very aware that it wasn’t. 

With a coming forth moment, one which always felt like she had just woken from a nightmare, she would realize what was happening. They weren’t just chatting. They were  _ flirting _ . 

Lapis was sure it was Peridot’s doing and she promptly shoved off the fluttered way it would make her feel when she noticed it happening. She told herself that Peridot wasn't her type. Not at all. Reminded herself that she was obnoxious and loud and small and blonde. And even if, even if maybe, once every hour or so, Lapis toyed with the idea that maybe, maybe, she was pretty that god damned sweater kept ruining it and-

And then Lapis realized maybe it  _ wasn’t  _ Peridot. 

Because she realized that whenever she realized it was happening, each time she found herself in the moment, Peridot with flushed cheeks and a smirked smile, she was already midway through flirting back. And then she caught herself. Starting it. 

_ She  _ was doing this.  _ She  _ was flirting. It was  _ her _ . 

God Lapis was stupid. But she couldn’t stop. 

Over and over she found herself starting it. In the middle of a conversation her tone would suddenly shift and her words would fall out subdued and flirty. Peridot would go pink and she would fumble for a second before she herself was flirting. 

She was adorable as she did it. All flustered smiles and flushing cheeks and wide eyes as she wistfully looked up at her, a smirk on her lips just for the length of her line before she was back into the jingling, bright, ecstatic giggles. Her eyes shone, matching in a disgustingly charming display the green shimmer of her eyeshadow, and her cheeks flushed red like the accents on her terrible, awful sweater which was somehow, miserably, beginning to grow charming in Lapis’s mind. 

It left Lapis a little flushed herself, a little more flushed when she realized she was flushing. She was not normally the type to be so off put by some basic flirting, especially if she was initiating it, and it was a touch embarrassing to be so shaken by the reciprocation. But as their conversations moved, following them around the room as they lazily spun around one another, moving from table to corner to empty space with ease, Lapis found she didn’t mind. She let herself stop worrying about the bitterness, the want to leave and her bitchy boss and the terribly cheesy Christmas playlist playing over the loudspeakers and everything else to just enjoy the feeling of it.

Because maybe Peridot  _ wasn’t  _ her type, and maybe this moment  _ was  _ too clich é to be tolerable, but it felt  _ good _ . And as they lazed around the room, talking and laughing, Lapis let herself walk through the evening without a thought in her head asides the look of a flush on Peridot’s freckled cheeks or the grace of her smile as it reached her eyes. 

And before Lapis knew it it was already ten. They had talked for ages, hours. The party was ending. Most everyone had left, probably hours ago, although Lapis was only noticing that now that Peridot’s mom was approaching them, an awkward smile on her face. The three of them were the last true guests in the room, the few stragglers clearly only there as they had been coerced into cleaning up after. Lapis quickly remembered her excuse of why she herself could not assist; pet sitting which started promptly at eight. Luckily Yelena did not mention it as she approached. Instead she simply looked between the two of them, a perplexed and slightly flustered look upon her face as she told them they were wrapping up for the night. Lapis hated every second of it, felt herself trying not to pinken or puke under the knowing gaze of Peridot’s mom, Lapis’s boss, but she left as quickly as she had arrived. Apparently just as uncomfortable with the exchange, just was wishing it was over, as Lapis was. 

But before the interruption could ruin the surprisingly good evening, Peridot laughed gently. When Lapis looked into her face she was flushing and smiling a gentle, charming, little smile. 

Lapis smiled back. 

“We really lost track of time, huh?” Peridot spoke, rubbing her hands against one another as she stared up at Lapis. 

Lapis smiled loosely down at her, “Yeah,” she stated wistfully, “It was fun,”

Peridot’s smile brightened, “It was,”

It was sweet and pleasant, a nice goodbye, but Lapis found her smile dropping. She wasn’t done yet. Somehow, miraculously, she didn’t want to leave. 

Luckily Peridot seemed to reach the same conclusion, she reached forward in a flash, her face brightly pink, to grab Lapis’s hands. 

“Wanna come to my place?” She asked, her words too high with excitement to really be flirty. Lapis decided that she didn’t mind and simply smiled nodded, too happy to truly flirt herself. 

”I would love that,”

Peridot flushed, sending a quick sideways glance across the room before she darted forwards, raising up onto her tiptoes, “Can I?” she whispered, her voice giddy as she leaned into Lapis’s face. 

Lapis laughed, surprised but woefully excited, and replied in her own giddy tone, “Took you long enough to ask,”

Peridot crossed the small space between them, leaving a gentle kiss atop her lips.

It was short and sweet, hardly more than a second, but Lapis felt tingles running down her spine wildly at the feeling. When Peridot pulled away she found herself flushed, short of breath, and all she could find herself capable of doing was swearing once more, a breathless and happy sound. 

“Fuck,”

Peridot laughed, dragging her out the door with a hoping little giggle.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I don’t drink from the choice of wine? This bitch is clueless and literally googled ‘best wines’ and picked one off the first list she saw <3  
> Anyway this took surprisingly long for how short it was (finals and all that fun jazz) but I had a BLAST writing it. The style was different enough from my usual work that it was really fun to play around in!  
> That said I hope you enjoyed it and I thank you for reading! PLEASE leave me a comment! And happy holidays! Please stay safe and healthy while still enjoying yourself.


End file.
